As a rule, this question is not the first thing people think of when considering marriage or divorce, but it is a big decision with many benefits or consequences. Besides the social issues, a name change may present logistical challenges that must be overcome carefully and thoughtfully.
Traditionally, a wife changed her last name to her husband’s last name, and that is still the most common choice. Other options exist, including one or both spouses hyphenating their last names to form a new last name.
If you decide to change your name at the beginning or end of a marriage, one of the most important entities that must be satisfied is the Social Security Administration (SSA). Expect headaches come tax time if the name on your tax returns differs from the information maintained by the SSA. To notify the SSA, file a
form SS-5, Application for a Social Security Card and submit it with the necessary attachments. Take care to completely fill out the correct forms and include the proper supporting documents.
If you are changing your name pursuant to a marriage, the SSA will require an original or certified copy of your marriage certificate. You can probably get this document from the county clerk in the county where you got married.
If you are changing your name due to a divorce, the SSA requires an original or certified copy of your final divorce decree. You should keep a couple of certified copies on hand, especially if you have children, because it’s practically inevitable that you will need a certified copy at some point. The clerk of court in the county where you were divorced will make certified copies for a nominal fee.
One important note is to be sure to notify your attorney before your divorce is final if you wish to change your name after the divorce. Your attorney should then ensure that the necessary language is included in the final decree to facilitate your post-divorce name change.
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Law Offices of Judy L. Burger, we will persistently pursue the best outcome possible for you in your divorce proceedings, whether you need to demonstrate the other spouse’s faults, or defend such claims.
Judy L. Burger is known for her aggressive representation of clients in high conflict cases in and around the San Francisco Bay and Sacramento areas. If you are a spouse facing divorce, call us today to learn more about how we can help. Call (415)293-8314 in the San Francisco Bay area or (916)631-1935 in the Sacramento area, or contact us online via our
confidential inquiry form.
Statistics compiled by Divorce Peers tells us in two out of three cases children stay with their mother in the marital home when couples split up. The vast majority of couples (sixty-five to eighty percent depending on the source) either agree at the outset how custody will be arranged or settle the matter during the pendency of their divorce. About sixty percent of couples agree for the mother to have primary physical custody.
Theoretically, courts abandoned the ‘mother is best’ mindset years ago, but it has taken time for the idea to sink in. In our experience, a mother is still more likely than a father to be awarded primary physical custody of the children if a case goes to mediation or trial, but fathers have steadily gained ground in the last twenty years. More fathers who want to be an active part of their children’s lives are fighting for that right.
The ultimate goal in a custody proceeding is to determine what is best for the children. A child needs the love and attention of both parents as long as they are fit to be parents. In deciding what is best for the children under California law, judges will consider many factors, including:
A putative marriage is one where the couple intended to enter into a valid marriage, but for one reason or another, the marriage is legally void in fact. There may have been a legal barrier to marriage, such as one of the parties was already married to someone else, or unbeknownst to the couple, the official who performed the marriage ceremony was not legally authorized to do so.
Sections 2250 – 2255 of the California Family Code explains a putative spouse’s rights when the couple breaks up. Rather than a petition for divorce, one or both parties must file a petition entitled “In re the marriage of ____ and ____” and the petition must state that it is a petition for a judgment of nullity of the marriage.
Once the marriage is found void or voidable, then the Court may proceed to divide property, award spousal support, and award custody of the children in a manner substantially similar to standard divorce proceedings as though the couple were legally married.
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Common law marriage is a matter of state law, so the requirements for creating a common law marriage and whether a marriage exists at all vary from state to state. Under California law, it is not possible for a couple living in California to create a common law marriage, regardless of how long they live together or whether they refer to each other as husband or wife.
Nonetheless, California courts may recognize a common law marriage that was created when the couple lived in another state. For instance, in Alabama a couple may be considered married under common law if they cohabitate for a period of time, and if during that time they hold themselves out to the public as husband and wife. If the couple then moves to California and decides to break up, a California court may entertain divorce proceedings for the couple in deference to the valid common law marriage created in Alabama.
California’s policy of not allowing common law marriages to be created in California is somewhat balanced by California’s stance on “palimony.” The word palimony is a misnomer because it is not really the equivalent of alimony. Rather, a claim for palimony is based on a breach of contract theory and pursued as a civil action rather than in divorce proceedings. Essentially, a person being left behind in a breakup may be able to pursue compensation under a breach of contract theory if he or she can prove that a valid agreement existed between the couple for ongoing financial support.
A full discussion of palimony will be the topic of a later post, so check back soon to learn more.
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Getting divorced is seldom a walk in the park. Nobody gets married planning to go through a divorce sometime down the road. But, life happens and people sometimes change or grow in different directions. As family law attorneys, we see the effects of such changes every day. The most common phrase we hear is “He (or she) is not the same person I married.”
If divorce seems to be looming on the horizon, this is not the time to ignore the problem and hope it goes away. Face the issue head on and start planning to ensure the best outcome possible.
It goes without saying that choosing the right divorce lawyer is the first critical step in a divorce. A consultation does not necessarily mean a commitment, but a qualified, experienced California divorce lawyer can answer questions you didn’t even know to ask. A consultation is well worth the cost if it can save you thousands of dollars in costly mistakes.
For those who plan to seek custody of the children, it is not too early to start a journal. Chronologically record specific events that relate to your spouse’s interaction and relationship with the children. Your attorney can help you distinguish which events are more important than others.
Finally, put your accountant’s hat on and list all of the assets and debts you believe should (or shouldn’t) be included in the marital pie.
Instead of thinking of divorce as an ending, think of it as a beginning. You will have a chance to spend time thinking, planning, and dreaming. Better relationships can be built with your children and extended family. You will have a fresh opportunity to become comfortable with who you are rather than what someone else wants you to be. And when you’re ready, you will have a chance to start over.
In a perfect world, mediation can be a fair way for a divorcing couple to compromise and settle disputes over child custody and visitation or decide how to divide marital property. But, circumstances are not always ideal and an unfair mediation session can leave a party feeling used, intimidated, and hopeless.
In California, parties arguing over custody must attend mediation before a judge will hear their case.
Trouble arises when the husband or wife feels the mediation process is weighted in the other spouse’s favor. Though many family court mediators have significant training and experience in family law, mediators – like lawyers and judges – are still human. A mediator may hold a bias and not realize it.
Other instances where a person can feel shortchanged by mediation are when one spouse is more educated about the divorce process than the other (seeming to have inside information) or when intimidation was present in the marital relationship.
One way to overcome these potential snags is to be well prepared for mediation. Educate yourself about the divorce process and California’s law and policy regarding family separation issues. Make a list before mediation of which points are negotiable and which are not.
Finally, although your attorney may not be permitted to sit through all of the mediation process with you, your attorney will prepare you for this process prior to your appointment. If you have any doubts about the quality of the mediator, about your knowledge of family law, or if you feel intimidated in any way by your spouse or the process itself, then the best court of action is to show up for mediation equipped with a strong advocate on your side.
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