When Can My Child Choose Who to Live With After a Divorce?
California Divorce, Child Custody

When Can My Child Choose Who to Live With After a Divorce?

Divorce is a challenging life event, and when children are involved, it can become even more complicated. One of the most common questions parents ask is, “When can my child choose which parent to live with after a divorce?” Understanding California law regarding this matter, as well as the emotional nuances involved, can help parents navigate this difficult terrain more effectively.

California Law on Children’s Choice of Custody

In California, the law does not specify a particular age at which a child can choose which parent to live with after a divorce. However, California Family Code, Family Division 8, Part 2, Chapter 2, Section 3042 provides some clarity on the matter. This section states that if a child is of sufficient age and capacity to reason, the court may consider the child’s preferences regarding custody and visitation. Typically, this means that children as young as 14 can express their desires, but courts will often consider the opinions of younger children as well, depending on their maturity and understanding.

The family court has the discretion to decide whether the child’s preference will significantly impact the custody determination. While a child’s wishes can be a critical factor in the court’s decision, the ultimate goal remains the best interest of the child—a principle that guides all custody arrangements in California.

Challenges Parents Face When Children Can Choose

When children are allowed to express their preferences regarding custody, several challenges may arise for parents:

  • Emotional Strain: Children may feel torn between both parents, fearing they will hurt one parent’s feelings by choosing the other. This emotional burden can lead to anxiety and behavioral issues in children.
  • Manipulation and External Influences: Younger children or those who may not fully understand the implications of their choices can be susceptible to undue influence from one parent or external parties (like friends or relatives). This can lead to perceptions of favoritism or bias, causing discord between parents.
  • Confusion and Mixed Signals: Allowing children to choose can create confusion, as they may believe their choice holds more weight than it actually does, leading to misunderstandings about their role in the custody decision-making process.
  • Instability: Children may change their minds, resulting in a lack of stability in their living arrangements. Fluctuating preferences can cause undue stress for both the child and the parents.
  • Legal Consequences: Parents may feel compelled to comply with their child’s wishes to avoid conflict, which can lead to potential issues with enforcing court orders. Altering custody arrangements based on a child’s preference without legal amendments can create legal complications.

Tips for Parents to Ease the Transition

Navigating custody decisions when children can express preferences requires sensitivity and understanding. Here are some tips for parents:

  1. Maintain Open Communication: Foster an environment where your child feels safe expressing their feelings without fear of judgment. Encourage open conversations about their thoughts and desires regarding where they want to live.
  2. Avoid Manipulation: While it might be tempting to sway your child’s opinion, it is crucial to respect their feelings and encourage them to voice their thoughts honestly, without pressure from either parent.
  3. Educate Your Child: Help your child understand that their choice is important, but must also consider how that choice might impact their overall well-being. Discuss the logistics, routines, and emotional ramifications of living with one parent versus the other.
  4. Seek Professional Help: Engaging a child psychologist or counselor can help your child process their feelings about the divorce. These professionals can also provide you with strategies to ease the transition and support your child’s emotional health.
  5. Work with a Family Law Specialist: Consulting with CA Certified Family Law Specialist, Judy L. Burger, can ensure you understand your rights and obligations regarding custody. Legal guidance can also facilitate productive discussions between you and your ex-spouse.

FAQs About Child Custody in California

What factors will the court consider in making custody decisions?

The court will consider several factors, including the child’s age, the emotional bond between the child and each parent, each parent’s ability to provide a stable environment, and any history of domestic violence or substance abuse.

At what age can a child express a preference for custody?

While there is no specific age limit, children aged 14 years and older are generally considered capable of expressing their preferences. Courts may also consider younger children on a case-by-case basis.

Can a parent refuse to let a child see the other parent?

No. Unless there is a court order restricting visitation due to safety concerns, parents must comply with the terms of the custody agreement. If a parent feels that visitation should be limited, they should consult with a lawyer.

How can I modify an existing custody agreement?

To modify a custody agreement, you must file a petition with the family court. Changes must reflect a significant change in circumstances that affects the child’s best interests.

What if my ex-spouse is not following the custody agreement?

If your ex-spouse is not complying with the custody agreement, document specific incidents and reach out to a family law attorney for guidance on how to enforce your rights.

Get Help with Complex Child Custody Matters in California

Navigating child custody after a divorce is complex, and when children can express preferences, it becomes even more critical to ensure that their well-being remains the top priority. Understanding California laws and seeking professional guidance can help parents create a supportive environment for their children during this challenging time.

Family Law Attorney Judy L. Burger can help. She has extensive experience working with families throughout the Golden State to resolve child custody matters in the best interests of children and families. Contact one of our eight offices across California today to schedule a consultation.

Child Custody Issues After a Natural Disaster
Child Custody

Child Custody Issues After a Natural Disaster

Natural disasters can profoundly impact families, particularly when it comes to child custody arrangements. In California, where wildfires, earthquakes, and floods are common, understanding how these events can affect custody agreements is essential for both parents and guardians. California Certified Family Law Specialist Judy L. Burger discusses the implications of natural disasters on child custody and offers guidance for navigating these challenging situations.

What Impact Can Natural Disasters Have on Child Custody?

The California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection reports that the Palisades and Eaton wildfires consumed 57,660 acres and destroyed over 16,000 structures (as of February 18, 2025).

Natural disasters, including school schedules, work commitments, and living arrangements, disrupt daily life. These disruptions can complicate existing custody agreements for parents who share custody of their children. Here are several factors to consider:

  • Altered Living Conditions: If a natural disaster forces one parent to evacuate or temporarily relocate, it can create challenges in adhering to custody schedules. Parents may need to adjust arrangements to accommodate changes in living situations while ensuring the child’s needs are met.
  • Access to Safe Environments: The safety and well-being of the child should always take precedence. If a parent’s home is damaged or unsafe, it may be necessary to modify custody agreements. Courts will consider the safety of the child when determining temporary arrangements during and after the disaster.
  • Communication Breakdown: Natural disasters can disrupt communication channels. If parents are separated, they might find it difficult to reach each other or to communicate with their children. Establishing a reliable communication strategy before such events occur can be crucial.

Key Considerations for Custody During and After a Disaster

California Certified Family Law Specialist Judy Burger recommends parents consider the following during and after natural disasters occur:

  1. Flexibility and Cooperation: Parents are encouraged to communicate openly and be flexible with one another during times of crisis. Cooperation will help reduce stress for both the child and the parents. Working together to establish temporary arrangements can foster a sense of stability for the child.
  2. Court Orders and Modifications: If a natural disaster necessitates a change in custody arrangements, you should formalize these changes through the court. While temporary modifications can be made informally, documenting changes can help prevent future disputes.
  3. Emergency Plans: Parents should create emergency plans that outline how to handle custody in the event of a natural disaster. This can include designated safe zones, communication methods, and guidelines for travel between homes.

Legal Assistance and Support

California law strongly emphasizes the safety of children during emergencies, such as wildfires. When facing such threats, adhering to court-ordered custody agreements is crucial. Courts understand that emergencies can necessitate prompt decision-making and appreciate actions taken in good faith. This involves acting reasonably and responsibly and prioritizing your child’s safety.

Always inform the other parent about your decisions, maintain thorough documentation of your actions, and seek legal advice. This approach can help clarify intentions and prevent potential misunderstandings.

Custody Agreement Assistance After Natural Disasters

Natural disasters introduce significant challenges for families, particularly regarding child custody arrangements. Ensuring that children’s safety, security, and emotional well-being remain a top priority can lead to better outcomes for all involved. As parents navigate these difficult times, effective communication and legal guidance can help alleviate some of the stress associated with custody issues.

If you find yourself facing custody challenges after a natural disaster, reach out to The Law Offices of Judy L. Burger for expert advice and support tailored to your situation. It’s vital to protect not only your child’s interests but also to ensure that you are prepared for any eventualities that may arise in the future.

 

4 Factors Considered During Child Custody Discussions
California Divorce, Child Custody

4 Factors Considered During Child Custody Discussions

When parents divorce, some of the most important decisions they face relate to their children. For example, Max and Becca didn’t disagree about much during the early stages of their divorce. However, both were a bit stymied when it came to the kids. They weren’t sure how to prepare a parenting plan that the judge would approve. Let’s look at four of the most important factors considered during child custody discussions.

Health & Safety of Child

Each parent generally is expected to play a role in the health and safety of the child. In fact, the judge may consider this a primary concern when reviewing a parenting plan or making custody decisions. One way to promote the health and safety of a child is to remember that children generally are more likely to thrive when parents:
  • Avoid physical violence toward each other or the child;
  • Agree on living arrangements and rules;
  • Provide a safe and appropriate environment for visiting with family and friends.
A parenting plan usually includes agreements on how to handle medical issues, including doctor visits, vaccinations, health insurance, and emergency medical treatments.

Relationship with Family

Another area of critical importance is the child’s relationship with his or her parents and extended family. A judge may scrutinize a parent’s interactions with the child before assigning joint legal custody, sole legal custody, joint physical custody, or sole physical custody. Judges generally like both parents to be involved in caring for a child. Signs of abuse, neglect, or domestic violence taint a child’s relationship with the abusing parent. California divorce courts put the child’s best interests before the parent’s need to be with their child.

Stability of Living Environments

While it’s important to consider how well a child and parent get along together, the living environment plays a big role in deciding custody:
  • A parent who allows unsafe or illegal activities in the home may receive limited custody and visitation.
  • Parents who move frequently and erratically may not be providing the best home environment.

Overall Best Interests of Child

California law requires a divorce court judge to make custody arrangements that are in the best interests of the child. During child custody discussions, courts may look at the big picture. For example, a child may love both parents, but the court grants sole custody to one parent or requires supervised visits with the other parent. This may occur because one parent has put the child at risk or ignored the child’s basic needs of health, safety, home, and family.

Make Your Child Custody Discussions Count

Start with retaining an attorney who understands complex child custody arrangements., as does Judy Burger who is a California Certified Family Law Specialist and founder of the Law Offices of Judy L. Burger. To discuss how to handle property and divorce issues, please call us at 415-293-8314. The attorneys at the Law Offices of Judy L. Burger assist clients in San Francisco, Beverly Hills, Marin County, Santa Barbara, Ventura/Oxnard, San Jose, Gold River (Sacramento), and surrounding communities.