We often have trouble recognizing the signs of an abusive spouse. Some people tolerate mild behavior from a spouse without realizing it has worsened over the years. Others accept threatening behavior because they are afraid or feel they have no place to go. Maybe you feel you are in a bad
relationship but don’t feel it has risen to the level of abuse. Let’s look at some of the signs
that may open your eyes.
Some Signs of Abuse Are Obvious
may be the biggest red flag. If you have experienced any of the following from your spouse, you have been abused:
- Hair pulling, slapping, biting, kicking, scratching, and choking;
- Putting you in dangerous situations;
- Forcing you to use drugs or alcohol;
- Using weapons or other devices to hurt you; and
- Forcing you to perform sexual acts.
Actions related to physical violence
also signal trouble. For example, your spouse or partner may be abusive if he or she prevents you from calling for help, getting medical attention, sleeping, eating, or calling the police.
More Subtle Actions May Be Abusive, Too
Some signs of an abusive spouse may not be so obvious. However, the following behaviors may be considered mistreatment:
- Insulting remarks;
- Undermining your self-confidence;
- Demanding that you change your appearance or get plastic surgery;
- Isolating you from your family and friends;
- Destroying your personal property;
- Ignoring your wishes and boundaries;
- Harassing you with phone calls, emails, and texts;
- Monitoring your every move;
- Showing no compassion or empathy.
Remember that abuse doesn’t have to be physical and that either spouse or partner can be abusive.
What Can You Do if You Recognize the Signs of an Abusive Spouse?
Your course of action may depend on the level of abuse you face. If your spouse will not address abusive behavior, it may be time to consider divorce or at least a domestic violence restraining order
. However, leave or call for help
if you feel unsafe for any reason.
The attorneys at the Law Offices of Judy L. Burger
are experienced at all phases of divorce proceedings. Call us at 415-293-8314 to schedule a private appointment or visit our website. We maintain offices in San Francisco, Beverly Hills, Marin County, Santa Barbara, Ventura/Oxnard, San Jose, Gold River (Sacramento), and surrounding communities.