When you are unhappy in your marriage, figuring out if it’s time to move on can be difficult. On some level, you may already know that the relationship is not working. However, you want to be sure you are ready to divorce before initiating a case. You are the only person who will know for sure whether it’s time to leave your relationship. However, there can be indications that you are prepared to move forward. Here are 5 signs you may be ready for divorce:
You Avoid Your Coming Home to be with Your Spouse
When there is conflict in your marriage, interactions with your spouse may seem to always end in fights. Even when you are not arguing, there may be an underlying tension between you. Under these conditions, a home, which should be a place to unwind and relax, can become extremely uncomfortable.
You may find that you are coming up with reasons not to be at home with your husband or wife. It could be that you are making excuses such as saying you have to work late when you don’t. You may also stay out late without an explanation. The reasons you provide may vary. However, your true motive will be the same—You don’t want to be around your spouse.
When you can’t feel at home in your own home because of the discomfort you feel in your marriage, it may be a sign that you need to make a change. You may want to consider asking yourself if you want to continue living this way. If the answer is no, and you don’t expect matters to improve, it may be time to consider divorce.
You are Happier Thinking About Being on Your Own
Sometimes couples who are having problems in their marriage will fight over seemingly everything. However, there can also be relationships where nothing appears to be “wrong” on the surface, yet one or both spouses are unhappy in the relationship.
If you feel like your marriage isn’t working, it may be due to conflict, dissatisfaction, or both. Often, when people are in this type of situation and considering divorce, they imagine what their life would be like without their partner.
If you are happier visualizing yourself without your husband or wife, you may need to evaluate your circumstances and consider your options. When you don’t anticipate anything changing, your thoughts of being on your own may signify that you are ready to talk with a divorce attorney.
Your Fights Don’t End in Resolution
Most couples fight or disagree sometimes. If you and your spouse have conflicts, that doesn’t necessarily mean your marriage is in trouble. On the contrary, working through disputes can be an important part of relationship growth. However, if your fights are not productive, they aren’t likely to improve your connection with one another.
Arguments that don’t end in resolution often lead to more disagreements and resentment. You may also find that you often fight and over matters that ordinarily would not invoke hostility. If you feel like you are constantly fighting and can’t resolve your disagreements, it may signify that the relationship is no longer working.
The Only Reason You are Staying is the Kids
When your marriage isn’t working, and you have children, it can feel like you don’t have many options. On the one hand, you know your relationship is not meeting your needs. But, on the other, you don’t want to hurt your kids.
There is no right answer. However, it’s essential to consider how your children are being affected now. When parents aren’t getting along, it can be traumatic for kids to see them fight or be unkind to one another. Children in this situation often internalize their parents’ conflict and blame themselves. Under this kind of stress, kids can develop conditions such as anxiety and depression.
If you think about why you are remaining in the marriage, you may conclude that it’s only for the kids. Although divorce is painful, it may be a better alternative than keeping your children in a stressful environment. If you know that your only reason for remaining married is your children, it may be time to honestly evaluate your situation and consider your options.
You Feel Like You are Alone in Your Relationship
There are various reasons a couple may be struggling in their relationship. For example, you and your spouse may be compatible as friends but have emotional or physical intimacy barriers. It may be that one or both of you has changed since your marriage began, and you are no longer compatible. There can also be situations when couples find out after they marry that they have different goals for their lives. These and other circumstances can lead to each partner feeling isolated within the relationship.
You may feel like because you are not fighting, nothing is wrong. However, couples don’t have to quarrel or be angry for there to be a problem. You can share a space with your spouse and still feel alone. If you feel like you are on your own in your marriage, it may be time to ask why you are in the relationship.
Consider Talking with a Therapist
Every marriage is unique, and no one set of factors will signify when it’s time to end a relationship. However, if you are struggling to be happy in your marriage, it may help to talk with a trained therapist. Your therapist may be able to assist you in processing your feelings so that you can get the clarity you need to move forward.
Contact a California Divorce Attorney
If you already know that you need to end your relationship, it is probably time to meet with an experienced California divorce attorney. Your divorce lawyer can help you evaluate your circumstances and review your options.
The attorneys at the Law Offices of Judy L. Burger are experienced California family law attorneys who can answer your questions about divorce and help you plan for the future. We assist clients along California’s Northern to Southern Coast, including San Francisco, Beverly Hills, Marin, San Jose, Gold River, San Diego, Santa Barbara, Ventura/Oxnard, and surrounding communities. Call us at 415-293-8314 to schedule a private appointment or visit our website.